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Literature Text
Dear ________
I hate how I always feel like I’ve done something wrong. I think that you hate me and don’t want me around. I’m not always in pain when I take those painkillers. I take them to feel numb to it all. I don’t want you to know what I haven’t stopped. I feel like I can’t talk to you anymore. I know you will go and tell someone. Maybe you think you are helping but you aren’t. All you are going to do is get me put in a mental hospital and I know I would die there. I would give up. The one and only person I trust is leaving. And its sad that I feel like I can’t talk to you. I thought you were my friend. My trust is not easily won and when its broken its even harder to get back. I know I’m screwed up. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t have to go to a meeting. I don’t want to be put on drugs. Maybe they helped you but they didn’t help me.
I’m tired of feeling like I am an unwanted tagalong. Only around to be there. But I’d better not open my mouth. Don’t use me as your punching bag. Don’t yell at me when you really want to yell at someone else. Don’t make me feel like I’m a scared little girl again. Don’t make me hide in that secret place inside myself and then get mad that I can’t find my way out.
I’m not going to take it anymore. If that means I have no friends then so be it. I don’t feel like I have any in the first place. All of you pretend to care but I know you don’t. None of you care that I am crying right now, and where were you earlier when I needed someone? You don’t understand the guilt and hurt that tomorrow will bring. None of you have had your brother die. Don’t get mad at me for feeling like God is so far away. He’s been far away for so long. Taking my brother and one of my best friends was just the last straw. Don’t shove religion down my throat; I don’t want to hear it anymore.
Pretend you care. Pretend that you want to be there for me. Laugh at me behind my back. Why not laugh in my face? Want to drive me so far that I slash my wrist? I won’t give you the satisfaction! My wounds are my problem not yours. Go on and cope your own way and I will cope mine.
Just wait until I leave......you always do.
You won’t miss me, I’m already gone
I hate how I always feel like I’ve done something wrong. I think that you hate me and don’t want me around. I’m not always in pain when I take those painkillers. I take them to feel numb to it all. I don’t want you to know what I haven’t stopped. I feel like I can’t talk to you anymore. I know you will go and tell someone. Maybe you think you are helping but you aren’t. All you are going to do is get me put in a mental hospital and I know I would die there. I would give up. The one and only person I trust is leaving. And its sad that I feel like I can’t talk to you. I thought you were my friend. My trust is not easily won and when its broken its even harder to get back. I know I’m screwed up. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t have to go to a meeting. I don’t want to be put on drugs. Maybe they helped you but they didn’t help me.
I’m tired of feeling like I am an unwanted tagalong. Only around to be there. But I’d better not open my mouth. Don’t use me as your punching bag. Don’t yell at me when you really want to yell at someone else. Don’t make me feel like I’m a scared little girl again. Don’t make me hide in that secret place inside myself and then get mad that I can’t find my way out.
I’m not going to take it anymore. If that means I have no friends then so be it. I don’t feel like I have any in the first place. All of you pretend to care but I know you don’t. None of you care that I am crying right now, and where were you earlier when I needed someone? You don’t understand the guilt and hurt that tomorrow will bring. None of you have had your brother die. Don’t get mad at me for feeling like God is so far away. He’s been far away for so long. Taking my brother and one of my best friends was just the last straw. Don’t shove religion down my throat; I don’t want to hear it anymore.
Pretend you care. Pretend that you want to be there for me. Laugh at me behind my back. Why not laugh in my face? Want to drive me so far that I slash my wrist? I won’t give you the satisfaction! My wounds are my problem not yours. Go on and cope your own way and I will cope mine.
Just wait until I leave......you always do.
You won’t miss me, I’m already gone
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This could be to someone or it could just be me writing to get my feeling out. I don't even know why I felt the need to post it and I am not anticipating any comments.
Yes I do realize that this probably shouldn't go here but I have no clue where to put it.
Yes I do realize that this probably shouldn't go here but I have no clue where to put it.
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Comments5
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Whoever this is for, he or she clearly doesn't deserve the time you took to write it. But maybe you needed it. Getting stuff out can often be a very good help, even if the only reason you want to get it out is to get it out of your head and not because you want something from someone. It helps put things in perspective. Having stuff bottled up inside is never good.